Refrigerators and Codpieces
by TheCorviter
Summary: A companion piece to Of Cats and Kings. Jareth learns a valuable lesson about cats and dangly bits.


**Scritch, scritch** … his ear flicked. Probably nothing.

 **Scritch, scritch** … this time he swiveled his ear towards the sound and opened one blue eye. _No, I heard something_. Yawning and stretching, Jareth, Sarah's aptly named Goblin King-ish cat padded over to the kitchen. Sitting in front of the refrigerator, he swished his tawny colored tail and waited.

 **Scritch, thunk!** It was coming from the cold food box. _Mice!_ His brain supplied. _There must be mice inside._ He stood up on his hind legs and tried to reach the handle that was a good 3 feet above him. _No good- need Sarah_.

Running into her 'den' he pounced on her sleeping form with all 8 pounds of his kitty body. "MRROW," he said trying to wake her. "MRROW," it was an emergency, but she wouldn't budge. He started dancing on her, kneading her with his paws, even flicking his fluffy tail in her face "MRROW!"

Sarah groggily came to. "Mmm… hungry?" She reached out and started petting him. As the sleep slipped from her eyes, she focused on him. Jareth, or JC (short for Jareth Cat, as she dubbed him to avoid confusion), had an uncanny resemblance to his very real Fae counterpart. She didn't even name him that, having adopted him from an online ad that was posted at nearby shelter. Jareth was the name they had given him.

And well, it fit. Being part Maine Coon, JC was all wild blonde fur that stuck out in odd angles, particularly around his head forming a mane of sorts. But it was his eyes that convinced her not to completely rename him. They were the same as His- exactly the same. One blue; the other with a dilated pupal making it look dark in comparison. "Must have fought with a littermate," the shelter staff member surmised when Sarah had asked about it.

On mornings like this, when she was relaxed and half awake, staring into those eyes made her heart lurch a little. "MRROW," he interrupted her thoughts.

"Okay, okay- hungry, I get it." Getting out of bed Sarah looked out of the window to see it snowing? Sleeting? Hailing? She squinted. Even at 8:00, it was too dark outside, and she couldn't tell. "Stupid New England weather," she muttered. At any rate, whatever was happening outside would make for a good excuse to stay inside and read.

She had hit the jackpot at the local flea market a few days ago, scoring a box of trashy regency romance novels. Sarah couldn't wait to settle on her couch, with a nice fire blazing, and tear into them. It would be a very good Saturday, indeed.

Dressing quickly in warm fleece lined black leggings and a loose fitting cream colored sweater, Sarah brushed her long dark hair and braided it. Figuring she wasn't going anywhere, she stuffed her feet into her warmest slipper socks. The perfect cozy outfit. All the while JC danced around her legs trying to get her to move faster.

* * *

Jareth yawned and stretched in his own massive bed in the Underground. It had been said, that one could fit 10 full grown Fae men and women in that bed. A feat he had accomplished on many occasions. But not today, for only he occupied it.

"Cold," he noted standing up and pulling his black silk robe to combat the chill. He wandered over to his bedroom window that overlooked the Labyrinth and blinked. It was snowing- a rare occurrence indeed. He would have to speak to the Queen of the North about keeping her weather on her land.

Leaning out the window he focused on his subjects below. A horde of goblins were frolicking in the stuff. Eating it, rolling in it, peeing… "So uncouth," he said amused.

But that didn't change the fact that it was still cold- he was still cold. Running a hand through his hair he said, "I'll have to dig out my winter garments." Going back inside he decided to start with a nice hot bath.

* * *

"MRROW," JC pawed at the refrigerator.

"Silly cat," Sarah admonished. "That's people food- you eat cat food." She dug through the cupboard and grabbed a can of cat food. Opening it and dumping it into his dish, Sarah put it on the ground for him.

The cat didn't budge, and meowed sadly. _But there's mice! Why doesn't she listen?_

Sarah eyed the cat. "What's wrong?" She bent down to pet him. "You were howling for food 10 minutes ago." She went over and eyed the goop. It didn't look appealing to her, let alone for a cat. Heading over to the fridge, she intended to put a few pieces of leftover chicken in his dish. That was, until she heard the **Scritch, scritch** emitting from it.

She paused in mid stride and listened. **Scritch, scritch, thunk!** Grabbing a spatula from the counter, Sarah slowly opened the fridge to reveal a group of tiny goblins inside. "JARETH!" She bellowed.

* * *

He was never going to leave this tub. Leaning his head back and resting it against the wall he sighed. Utter relaxation… and warm. He was so warm. Let the goblins have their snow day. Heck, let them have a snow month if it meant leaving him alone to soak in the warm water.

"JARETH!" he heard, echoing around him. Damn! Just as his muscles were beginning to liquidify in their ultra-relaxed state. He sighed, "Never a moment's peace." However, his mood was less dampened since the Call sounded like Sarah. _She hardly ever calls, well not since she got that pet of hers_. Drying himself off he dressed quickly and vanished.

Only to appear in Sarah's living room a few seconds later. He looked for her and spotted her in the kitchen. His mood dampened again since she looked pissed. Extremely pissed, and he had a feeling it he would be blamed. Luckily, he was well versed in dealing with pissed Fae women, and hoped his skills would work on Sarah.

"Precious, what's wrong?" he asked walking into the kitchen.

"That," she pointed to the fridge, "is wrong. And don't call me 'Precious,'" she snapped.

Not comprehending he just stared at her.

She huffed, annoyed, and opened the fridge. "See?"

He looked. Six tiny goblins, about the size of his hand were dancing about inside the fridge. Sarah leaned over his shoulder and looked too "Hey, that's dinner," she cried, seeing that they were eating her uncooked beef brisket. "Do something," she smacked Jareth's shoulder.

He stood up facing her and closed the door to keep them contained. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to keep them on your land," she spat.

"My land! Sarah, they're goblins, they're supposed to cause mischief…"

JC sat off to the side and observed the tall yelling people. _Territory_ he reasoned _. They must be yowling about territory. Or food…_

He watched as they yowled at each other. Sarah was particularly animated waving her front paws around to emphasize a point. The Jareth person had his front paws on his hips and was tapping a hind paw. JC liked them both, but especially Sarah since they lived together. She was perfect for him. They spent many evenings with him snuggling on her lap and lots of chin scratches (she knew exactly how). Sometimes, she would make the red dot appear, and of course he had to protect her from it. The perfect relationship.

Jareth wasn't bad either. He was learning how to pet him and the fur on his head tasted good- better than Sarah's. He kept changing his body fur though- more than even Sarah did. Today his lower half was covered in grey, upper in white flowing stuff with ruffles, and all four of his paws had black hairless coverings.

"And that's exactly why we should go out on a date," he said calmly.

"Date!" Sarah sputtered. "We're not talking about that; we're talking about how your goblins turned my sock collection into outerwear!" She opened the fridge to once again show that, they had indeed, formed crude hats, and coats out of her socks. One goblin even had his tail covered by part of a pink sock.

He looked at the goblins, their handiwork was actually quite good. He closed the door. "You, my sweet, were talking about that. I grew bored and changed the subject." He formed a crystal and started rolling it on his hands. "So?"

"So what?"

He looked at her pointedly.

"No," she said crossing her arms. "Absolutely not."

The crystal vanished. "Why?"

And they started yowling again. JC didn't understand anything about dates or goblins- he just wished they'd stop yowling- it was getting annoying. Jareth started tapping his hind paw again but this time JC noticed something else.

With every tap, that thing between his legs moved. It was round and looked soft… there it moved again. _Could it be… a mouse?_ He crouched in a pouncing stance and eyed it. It didn't look like a mouse, at least not like the stuffed ones Sarah gave him. Come to think of it, he'd never seen a real one before. _Maybe this is what they look like_ , he thought excitedly!

He wiggled his bottom, leaping up to swipe at the 'mouse'. Missed. Regrouping, he launched himself towards it and- success!

* * *

Jareth abruptly stopped talking, color draining from his face. After a minute a high keening sound emitted from his lips.

Sarah was startled to say the least. In her experience, very little made the Goblin King stop talking in mid-sentence. Especially if it was something he was passionate about, and he was extremely passionate about trying to get her to go out with him. She had thought about it, even admitted to herself that she was attracted to him, but why change things? Their easy (if somewhat odd) friendship worked, and she was comfortable with the way things were.

She didn't think to look down and therefore, couldn't figure out why he was acting the way he was. The keening sound took on a new high. _I didn't know you could hit an E,_ she thought. And then he started dancing. Not his normal fun dancing, or even what he deemed sensual dancing. No, this was the dance of pain. Tilting her head, she considered him at a different angle. _Huh, like a fucked up ballet,_ her mind decided. He twisted and weaved around the kitchen swatting at something down there.

"Sarah," he gritted out between clenched teeth, gesturing at his crotch. _What?_ Oh…OH! She saw it. JC had attached himself to his, ah, package.

"Shit," she cried, gabbing him by the arms. "Hold still, you're making it worse." And he was, with the added movement, JC had sunk his claws and teeth in further to keep purchase upon his prey.

Sarah knelt down, eye-level with it. "JC, she cooed," keeping her voice light to calm him down, "what are you doing?" She petted him, being very careful to only pet him. He growled and sunk his teeth in deeper.

She looked up at Jareth who was standing, rigidly, with his eyes closed, hands balled into fists at his side. "Sarah…"

"Come on, handsome boy," she started carefully working his claws from Jareth's unfortunate flesh. "If you let go, I'll get you a treat." He relaxed slightly and started purring.

"Oh yes, reward him," he winced as she pulled another claw out.

Finally freeing the cat, she cradled him in her arms cooing, "did you get the nasty little mouse…hmm? My big, handsome hunter."

"Mouse," Jareth yelped. He had been tentatively feeling about his person- making sure nothing was gravely injured. "I'll have you know, it's more like a rat," he ginned lasciviously.

Sarah walked over to get the treat jar off the counter, still holding a purring JC in one arm. "Sure."

Giving him a healthy amount of treats she stroked the cat lovingly. Looking at Jareth, who had once again begun tenderly feeling around, she noted "you're bleeding."

He looked down. "Shit, I am." His and Sarah's eyes locked.

* * *

"You know to use your fingers, right?" She called through the closed bathroom door. "I don't need you rubbing your junk all over my antiseptic."

A thump and a curse. "There's bandages in the medicine cabinet." No reply. "Jareth, are you ok?"

A strangled "yes," came out. "I just don't like blood. Especially, my own."

Sarah was a little alarmed at that. _He's still bleeding? "_ There's not a lot is there?" She asked. "Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"Ah, there… what, no." A cabinet door slammed, "Sarah, did you get new eyeliner?"

Sarah thunked her own head against the bathroom door. _Crap! There goes five bucks. And he'll be in there forever now._ She abandoned her post and walked back into the kitchen. Opening the freezer, and seeing four goblins within, she said "guys, peas?"

After much muttering amongst themselves, a bag of frozen peas was lobbed at Sarah's head. She ducked.

Grabbing the bag off the floor she sat on the couch waiting. _There goes my peaceful Saturday._ Jareth emerged from the bathroom a little later. Eyes, rimmed in black- expertly applied. She also noticed that things below were a little fuller than before. Deciding that the swelling couldn't be that bad, she figured that Jareth had done more stuffing than actual bandaging.

"You know, I've been thinking," he accepted the bag of peas she offered him and sat next to her.

"That's dangerous."

"Brat," he shoved at her playfully.

"To compensate for the attack on my person," he glared at JC who was napping near the window, "you owe me a date," he turned his gaze back at her.

"No I don't," she said only mildly irritated. "You did this to yourself. If you didn't wear such tight pants and display… things," she indicated his frozen pea covered lap, "this would have never happened."

She had a point, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Taking a deep breath, he shifted carefully, facing her fully. "Please? Just one date- that's all I ask." He took her hands in his and squeezed them. Hope filling his eyes.

Sarah sighed. "Oh, alright, but you're paying." She jerked her head towards the kitchen, "they did eat my dinner after all."

* * *

When JC woke they were gone and it was dark out. Sarah had left food in his bowl so, unconcerned, he ate, used the litterbox, and fell back asleep on the couch.

The next morning, he woke to a sleepy eyed Jareth sitting on the couch wearing some of Sarah's fur. A robe, she called it. He sat up and looked in the direction of her 'den'. She emerged a short time later wearing his white fur with the ruffles. Now, that's odd. He had never seen Sarah wear any other furs than her own. And even when she occasionally brought other tall males home, she never took them into her 'den'.

He jumped off the couch. No matter, as long as she kept feeding him, he didn't care.

Sarah was in the kitchen making coffee and getting his breakfast ready. JC twined himself around her legs and purred. "Hi," she reached down and scratched his ears. Putting his bowl down, JC quickly lost interest in the tall people and started eating.

Sarah opened the fridge "Morning," she addressed the goblins. "Cream?" Instead of the coffee cream she was hoping for, a can of creamed corn flew past her head, thunking the counter behind her. "Not creamed corn," she groaned. "Cream… you know, for coffee." After a few seconds, the bottle sailed at her and she caught it deftly.

Stirring cream and sugar into her cup, but leaving his black, she asked, "don't they know how to read?"

"I tried, but they kept eating the books."

"Books yummy," chorused voices from the fridge, as Sarah handed the cream back to them. They took it and pulled the door shut.

She carried their mugs over, handing him his, she sipped from hers and looked out the window. It was raining. Another day inside. Jareth put his arm around her shoulder and drew her close. She put her mug on the coffee table and settled against him feeling content. They didn't get that much sleep last night. _Maybe for just a moment_ , and, snuggling deeper into his chest, she was back asleep.

Finishing his breakfast, JC wandered over to see what his tall people were doing. Cuddling. He spied Jareth's lap. _Needs me_. He jumped up and started kneading it with the intent to lie down.

Jareth winced and silently shooed him off. "Hold on, you beast." He waved his free hand and settled back against the couch. "Ok." He patted his lap invitingly.

Light as a feather, JC jumped back onto the proffered lap. It felt different- harder in the middle. Settling down the best he could, he curled up purring.

Not wanting anymore incidents to happen, Jareth had magicked a stiff codpiece to protect his family jewels. He smirked to himself. At least they had lots of fun verifying that everything worked correctly. It took multiple tests too. He looked over at Sarah and his smirk changed into a fond, warm smile.

He knew that when she woke up, things would be different between them. There was no doing what they did last night (and hopefully many more times in the future) and then revert back to being only friends. However, it was a start- a very good start. He petted the purring cat and watched the rain.

* * *

AN: I do not own any of these characters as they are property of their respective owners. Not betad all errors are mine.

AN2: I know, I know- three postings (two unique stories) in one week! What is wrong with me? What's wrong is that Jareth and Sarah have decided to live in my head and won't leave me alone.


End file.
